Laid Back

The Welsh guy, Richard, who I'd shared a room with for the last two nights departed for Vang Vieng this morning. I would've kept the room except for the bed bugs which had left a machine-gun of red blotches down my legs. I checked into another hotel and then headed out.

Searching for news on the internet, I discovered there was still limited information about the gunmen who'd attacked and killed a bus-load of passengers. What were their motives? How many gunmen were there? Was another attack anticipated?All these questions remained unanswered. Because of this I decided I might as well fly to the next city---Luang Prabang---rather than getting the bus. I booked a flight for the following day.

The rest of the day I fell into the gentle rhythm of the city, lounging and reading and then leisurely eating and drinking.

Some thoughts about travel types:

1. The Lad

The lad is typically a young male in the 18-25 age range, although older examples are occasionally spotted. For the lad, travelling entails transposing his weekends back home onto the entire duration of the trip. This means extended binges of alcohol and drugs---usually lager and weed---consumed in inoffensive bars hooked-up with cable, interleaved with days of comatose-like recovery when the lad does the sight-seeing bit. Always chasing skirt, and regaling anyone who'll listen about the threesome he had in Bangkok with a couple of dirty hookers, the lad is a fun companion in rare doses, but generally a complete bore for anyone whose interests are wider than beer, women, and sports. The lad is quick to find other lads and ensure that any burgeoning enthusiasm for history, language, art, science, and culture is quashed under cheap jibes emanating from the lad collective. Odd lads have been known to dedicate their travels to buying as many bootlegged DVDs as possible, as if the acme of a once-in-a-lifetime, round-the-world trip is the film collection they return home with. Willing to do strange and dangerous stunts in order to raise status in the group. Best avoided altogether.

2. The Cultural Observer

The cultural observer comes in many guises. They may be a pair of octogenarians or a single thirty-something. The cultural observer's MO is to do extensive background reading about the place in question---historical accounts, interviews, sociological studies, original sources---and then throw themselves into the experience whether its a temple excursion or an authentic meal at the house of a grass weaver. For the cultural observer the local people are often viewed as a necessary irritation in their quest to chart the cultural lives of long-dead civilisations. Polite and knowledgable, the cultural observer is an acceptable associate to have while travelling, but can be a bit of a stick-in-the-mud and usually disappears early doors to board luxury coaches and be whisked to satin-sheeted beds.

3. The Earth Healer

The earth healer is a traveller who truly believes that he or she knows not only the answers, but also the questions, to make the world 'right'. The earth healer has a very black and white view of things and categorises human activities into good (organic, natural, hand-based industries, sunshine, love etc) and evil (globalisation, money, high-technology, hatred etc). This despite the fact his or her travels are funded by either Daddy's rocketing corporate wage, or selling imitation Third World handicrafts like cow dung earrings and healing stones at astronomical prices and not returning any of the profit to source. The earth healer often dresses like a local and insultingly believes this impersonation extends to remaining unwashed for weeks and stinking to high-heaven. Changes philosophy of life like a DJ changing records. One day Vipassana Meditation is the route to spiritual wellbeing, the next Vedic Astrology. Fun on occasion, prolonged contact with the earth healer will result in a dissolution of all critical thinking followed by entry into some kind of scary drum-thumping cult.

4.The Shoe-Stringer

Money doesn't just talk for the shoe-stringer, it whimpers, cajoles, screams and whispers. The two questions the shoe-stringer asks when making choices on the road is how much does it cost, and can it be done cheaper? The shoe-stringer's affiliation to a strict budget usually comes not from a rejection of the capitalist system with its inherent paradoxical nature predicated on unlimited growth in a finite world, but from being incredibly lazy. In drinking circles the shoe-stringer always goes AWOL when its their round, but is happy in the drunken delusion that nobody minds. The shoe-stringer is easily spotted by their terrible appearance: a Happy Mondays T-shirt bought at THAT gig in 1986 or similar worn over their skinny physique like canvas over a rickety tent frame; disease-ridden gums from budgeting toothpaste off their essentials list; listless, staring-into-the-distance eyes as the shoe-stringer lives in a twilight world of reduced sensations, forever thinking about where the line between hunger and starvation is drawn. The remorseless logic of the shoe-stringers situation often means that they end up broke and reduced to petty thievery from rich, bourgeois [read 'other'] travellers. Useful for finding cheap places to stay if you don't mind roughing it, but remember to sleep with your valuables down your pants if you do.

Who am I? Well, a little bit of all of them I guess ;)

I've got a couple of other types to write-up, but would appreciate you telling me any I've missed!